Two thousand twenty five. The older I get, the more tired my writing becomes. Part of it stems from living in a country that is still developing and the other part would be constantly being labelled an American just because my largest organ happens to be in a pale shade. Well then, in my estadounidense* spirit – feliz navy dad y prosecco anus*.
Living in Perú is very annoying if you have literally any other experience to compare it with. Especially difficult if you come from Europe. Maximum difficulty settings are unlocked if you come from north of Europe – then this place is hell on Earth. The scams mixed with incompetence will kill any remaining brain cells that may have miraculously managed to weasel their way out of dying a slow and miserable death. Businesses run on sheer hope and/or audacity and the majority of people consider thinking as optional instead of crucial. As much as my heart literally aches to write them, I stand by these words. Some days it can be exhausting. Had a version of this post in my folder of drafts for a couple of months, but today just gave me some vindictive spirit to write this out “loud”.
While there are some businesses with whom we have had only delightful interactions there are at least three shit experiences for every good one. Take the last few days for example. The day before yesterday we tried to order dog food, a canine bed and some toys off of a very well known and legitimate pet store with multiple stores scattered in the city. All was fine and dandy until we got a call on the delivery day that some of our items are not available along with the question – would you like to cancel and refund your order? To which we agreed. Few hours go by and we do not get an official cancellation email or any other kind of notice. In the afternoon our front bell rings and we are surprised by 1/8th of our package arriving and everything else missing. We tried to contact the business and were met with the usual silence. Luck was on our side because a lot of the sites do not even offer a phone number to call if you encounter any issues, not to mention an email. After receiving 0 replies, we created a charge dispute on Revolut, will see how it goes. This kind of normalised theft is extremely common here. We receive such experiences at least once a week.
Last week it was Starbucks that tried to steal some money. The official Starbucks app glitched and gave our order a number “0”. Of course, the payment went through, but we received nothing. After 27 excruciating minutes on call with customer support, having to prove that we are who we say we are, sending proof of payment, a screenshot of the order and telling all our private information, we were still asked to VERIFY ourselves. I could not make this shit up if I tried to. I do 100% believe that this is an intentionally made system to make people less likely to bother to fight and get a refund. Unfortunately for them, I as well have learned a thing or two about audacity and emailed their official corporate office in Perú. Low and behold, our refund will arrive in 15 days. A big thank you to the accounting team there – they were lovely.
Today just made me sad, but not surprised at all. With the addition of our newest 4 legged family member, we are in search of a canine trainer that will be able to guide us with this new change in our lives. I found a business that advertised themselves as a German canine boarding school, specializing in German ideology. Excellent, a dream come true. Would never even dream of finding such a place here. The website felt a bit spammy, but beggars cannot be choosers so we messaged them. Tell me WHY the first communication that we received were multiple spam messages with 20+ pages of special offers, links to their social media accounts and blatant self promo to buy their books? What happened to hello? What happened to what are you looking for? What did me in was the fact that the only offer we got was to send our dogs away for multiple days, for a discounted price, for an evaluation. What happens during this magical time? They are evaluated and that is it, nothing will be taught or corrected during this time. Afterwards, for a limited time only & a discounted price, we can send our dogs away for multiple weeks in order to have them trained in classic German fashion – with commands in Spanish. SPANISH. With all due respect, I choked on my coffee upon reading this. After asking why did they choose this kind of communication, where is the German quality and why are commands taught only in Spanish I got multiple voice messages telling me off and got blocked before I could write a thank you for a genuine reply among the spam and wish them a great weekend. I sent it anyway because I was petty for my time wasted writing a message in my 9th language and blocked them back. No way in hell will we work with people that shove spam down people’s throats and then proceed to verbally belittle their potential clients when they are not squealing in delight to pay for automated spam offers. If you think that this kind of communication from a business is unacceptable, from the bottom of my small, black heart: thank you for existing.
And this pretty much sums up the majority of business communication here. Send help, pls.
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* American
** ¡Feliz Navidad y Prospero Año!
